An Andersen Update

     2013 brought with it a new semester for both Troy and I.  We find that we are even busier now than ever before, which is really saying something.  The fact that bothers us most is that a lot of our time is put into reading more than anything else.  Troy has taken on 2 humanities classes, which means all the literature and art in the world are soon to be crammed into the next few months; or so it seems.  He is also in his capstone semester which brings an extra workload of its own.

I've been doing my clinical shifts at both Primary Children's Hospital, and the University of Utah.  This means a lot of trips to Salt Lake, but also that my schedule is shifting every three or four weeks between the two locations.  It's been a lot of work and speaking of - my work schedule also shifts which is hard in this busy time.  

    Late January, Troy got sick and I have to say it was not a fun ordeal.  I sincerely hope he didn't catch anything because of my time at the hospital.  Regardless, he came down with Influenza B, which the NP said was worse than Flu A.  He had a burning fever for a few nights and was started on anti-viral medication.  The poor guy was under basic quarantine in the house and unable to really go anywhere for almost a week.  We were both relieved when he finally recovered.  He was glad just to be out of the house I think.  A few more weeks of crazy schedules passed, and then what do you know - it was my turn.

     the first weekend in February I came home from clinical and went out to dinner with some friends.  I came home feeling exhausted, which was fairly normal following clinical.  I woke up the next morning with an intense sore throat, rested through the weekend and braved as many classes as possible the next Tuesday.  Through the help of an awesome Father-in-Law we figured out that I likely had Bronchitis, but that I was probably not contagious.  I started to feel worse, so I took the time I could to rest and then shamefully, I went to my 12 hour clinical shift taking care of other sick people.  I got home and felt like I might die ( a bit dramatic perhaps - but it gets the point across)  I was shortly started on some antibiotics which seemed to help, and here I am day 11 of feeling quite out of it hopefully not too far from recovery.

pretty good depiction of our lives lately haha

    I have learned through this whole experience however, that I'm often a little too stubborn.  Perhaps it's the perfectionist in me, but thanks to Troy's constant pleas, I have decided to try and.....do less?  That sounds odd.  I work until jobs are done, and just sitting has been difficult, but I promised to do it.  On the plus side - Troy's been letting me watch all the Downton Abbey imaginable, and I have to say I'm totally hooked.  If there's one thing that made me stay off me feet it was watching Downton Abbey.  I love stories like that.  I'm also a huge Jane Austen fan, so this is just my sort of stuff.  I suppose I owe my old roommate Kat as well as my Mother-in-Law for telling me I should watch it. (Good call ladies!)

All in all, I think the house is just about ready to be done with the whole quarantine thing, and of course there's a lot of catching up to do with school and work.  I think this Andersen house has decided to take an "Hakuna Matata" sort of view on that though.  I'm trying to let go of my perfectionist habits so that I don't push myself into this position again.  Being married to Troy has been an amazing blessing.  If he's tried to stress anything to me it has been that grades aren't everything and life should be lived, not just worked through.  I think I'll try out his theory ;)

Respect

All these people are talking about the whole protest for girls wearing pants to church......

Everyone is saying, "equality", "fairness", etc.

I honestly feel like they don't understand. 

You want to protest by wearing pants to church?  Will you also protest  against going to prom in dresses?  Will you wear pants to your wedding?  Because society tells you you have to wear dresses on those occasions as well, and I don't see anyone making a stink about it.

Here's the thing.  People are more willing to dress up for a high school dance then for church.  Equality has nothing to do with it. 

How you dress reflects how you FEEL about the situation.  Most people want to look nice on special occasions.  And for women, yeah - that usually means a skirt or a dress.  I'm not talking to the people who don't own dresses, can't afford them, etc.  But to the people who have forgotten what "Sunday Best"  is all about. 

Church is weekly, yes.  Perhaps some think it is commonplace, but that is where the issue lies. As a girl, I remember wearing the same dress every week because it was the only one I had.  I understand not everyone will be in the position to have a bunch of dresses on hand, but I can tell you one will work.  Again, it's not about the wardrobe.

Christ died for you.  He died for me.  He took upon him all the sins of the world and suffered in Gethsemane.  The most selfless act in the history of time.  This is why we go to church.  Each Sunday we take upon us his name.  To do as He would do.  To be like Him.

Now ask yourself, would he come to a place of worship and protest that he could not wear pants?

I don't see that happening.  

Why?  Because the Savior has always been spiritually focused.  Always in a mindset of doing His Father's work.  When we take the sacrament and promise to be like Him, we are becoming disciples of his.

  How can we, as we try to become selfless like Him, focus on something so superficial?  If you understand the significance of the sacrament - the sacrifice that was made specifically for YOU.  Take the time to think about what he has done for each of us, and the eternal importance of this event.  Perhaps then, it would seem special.  Perhaps it would even surpass the importance of a high school dance, and then maybe you could understand why we ask for Sunday best.

The Atonement is eternal.  It is the one thing that you will want very much to understand and use in this life, because it is one of the few things that will matter in the end.  Why don't we shift our focus to what is important, and show the respect that this selfless saving act deserves.  Church is not a place for bickering, not a place for fighting, but a place of worship.  This debate has taken spiritual things and reduced them to superficial fights.  The main point should be this: As a representative of Christ, don't you want to look your best?  For him?

So you want to go against the norm? be outspoken? fight for your rights? - that is still in the mindset of earthly things.   Go ahead, if you must, but I wish you would stop and consider.  Before you race around asking "WHY NOT!"  reflect inward and first ask "why?"  Seek to understand Sunday dress before you seek to protest it.

 It's not a matter of equality.  It is a matter of  respect.

Olympic Fever

I absolutely LOVE the Olympics.  I can't get enough of them!  I think it is one of the greatest things that we have the opportunity to have such a large scale international competition.  It is amazing. 

Among the Olympics, my favorites are Gymnastics, Swimming, Diving, and Volleyball.  I love these games for moments like this:

- McKayla Maroney's Vault - arguably the best in Olympic History
Watch it HERE

-U.S.  Women's volleyball match with China.  Head to head they kept scoring point after point.  they would tie, one team would take the lead only to come back to a tie in the next point.  It was incredible to watch.
Read about it HERE

Not to mention already headlined Team Gold in Gymnastics and Michael Phelps as the most decorated Olympian of all time.  Even more impressive may be the many new athletes who have made a debut this year and won gold, especially the U.S. Women's Swimming team and Chad Guy Bertrand le Clos.

Also, do I need to mention that this opening ceremony had J.K. Rowling and Voldemort?  Along with Marry Poppins, Mr. Bean and James bond along with a stunt double Queen.  She must have a good sense of humor (even if she doesn't smile).

London is awesome - the city is absolutely beautiful and I have loved this year's games so far.  OLYMPIC FEVER!

Witness #1

There are some things that I've seen lately for the first time in my life, so here it goes:

#1 - A hit and run

Yes indeed, there we were,  sitting at the end of 560 North waiting to turn left onto 9th East - there were two cars in front of us.  The first one went, and then the gray truck directly in front of us edged his way out.  A white car was passing by and the anxious truck driver put on the gas way too quickly.  He was trying to shoot the gap, (it wasn't a big one) and right as he got into the intersection he clipped the back of the white car. 

It took us a few seconds to realize the bang we heard was metal on metal, and then I spotted the dent in the back right side of the passing car.  It was pretty big.  The white car driver immediately slowed down to pull over to the side and do the whole insurance exchange thing I'm sure, but that was not the plan for the truck - traffic was totally stopped, but he booked it straight across 9th East and into the neighborhood across the street.  The guy in the white car was FURIOUS - he rolled down his window, starting yelling and honking - raising quite a scene (and I don't blame him).  He tore down the same path leaning half way out the window screaming at the guy.  The two cars who had been following the white car and were currently stopped both decided at the same time to follow suit.  So, they both put on the gas and joined the hunt.  I don't think that truck has much of a chance with three cars after him.  We were debating whether we should join the pack when traffic started up again blocking our way across the street.  I really wanted to know how that one was going to turn out, but now I can only speculate. 

#2 - A bike carrying.......a bike?

Yeah, this is one that I still think is pointless and it looks RIDICULOUS.  A motorcycle with a bike rack - with a bike ON IT.  OK, ok, I know you're thinking "well, you drive into the mountains and then go biking".  Sure...but let me clarify, this was seen when I came into work.  I was sitting in my car and this guy pulls into the parking lot in shirt and tie with his bike-decker contraption.  I still can't think of a reason for that.  Only one guy.....two bikes - doesn't match up.  Do I think it pointless?  Yes,  Yes I do.

To be continued.....

Good Enough?

One word: Pathophysiology

I have finally met a class that no matter how hard I study, or the amount of hours I put in, my scores don't change.  Literally.

Three tests have gone by.  Each one brought a further addition of study hours, and still I come out feeling like I took the wrong test.  Three scores that read exactly the same.....(or close to)

Someone recently told me they thought this made me "more human".  I don't know if that was supposed to make me feel better, but I got to thinking.   Maybe I can be ok with this.   Maybe I can be ok with not reaching that grade I wanted, or with still not understanding the "different hormones that interact in this or that disease".  Just maybe......

I did my best.  I didn't give up. Is that "good enough?"  Can I let go of my inner perfectionist and just take the hit?  Or better yet, can I be happy with the effort that I spent......I guess I will know when it's over.

 There is one more test.  A daunting cumulative packet of paper that will be in front of my face in the next two weeks.  I'm going to put in the same hours, and more.  I'm going to review, to study, to work, and not stop praying.  And if it so happens that I end up with the same dismal score - I can at least say that I did everything I knew how.

And then burn my textbook :)

Flashbacks

Some days I live in flash-backs.  Some days they come without me noticing.  I start to think of something in the past, which usually involves my family, which usually leads me to more memories, and I ultimately end up thinking of my happiest memories - which usually include my six foot tall buzz-headed brother.

Some days I smile.  Some days I cry.

I have a picture of him that I keep in my room.  Occasionally I will talk to him.  Is he listening?  I like to think so.  I like to think that he is aware of what I am doing, and how my life is going.  So many times I have looked at that picture and wondered to myself, "what if....?"    What would my life have been like?

It helps me to talk about it some times, but recently my friend that I normally talk to about these things got married and moved, and I feel weird approaching someone else.    For those who have not lost someone, they may not know what to say or how to react, and that leads to them feeling awkward.  In reality, I don't think we expect anything.  Talking about someone is simply a way to remember them, and the most heartbreaking thing in the world is when you forget.

Forget the way their voice sounds....and suddenly you can't imagine them talking to you because you don't have a sound to put with it

Forget the last thing they said to you....and you feel you should remember

Forget their favorite color......likes, dislikes, they melt into the background until it's hard to remember.....you think of their upcoming birthday, but can't remember what kind of cake they liked.  Granted not all of these facts go away, but it feels like you are losing them.....someone you knew so well.....now you only know them as well as some of your friends, but they are so much more.

Forget their jokes......they made you laugh so hard....but what was it?

Forget their laugh......this one was hardest for my Mom.  Jake laughed so much, always at his own jokes, and always made others laugh as well. He kept me from taking life too seriously....and myself.  I miss those moments of laughing so hard that my stomach felt it would cave in.   Jake had a great sense of humor from a very young age; my favorite example is as follows:

One day my Mom was teaching Jake how to tie his shoes.   He was about three years old and was getting very frustrated; about to give up.


She said, "Ok, now you try"


He just stared at her for a moment and finally said with a sneaky grin, "You buy 'em, you tie 'em!"

Those words coming out of a three year old mouth made my Mom practically die with laughter.  She wrote it down in her Funny Quotes book that we still have to this day.  He lifted so many people and did so much good; maybe that's why he passed the test so quickly.  All I know is that on the day of his funeral we had more people than  we even knew present.  I will never forget the gratitude they had for him  - for deeds we were never even aware he had done.  So here's to my older brother Jake:  Thank you for teaching me to laugh- even at myself.  Thank you for teaching me that people are the most important part of life, and thank you for simply being my brother.

Yes, some days I cry, but I know one day I will cry not because we are separated, but because we will meet again.  I love you Buzz.

Jake Stewart 1989-2003