I've hit that wall

You know that wall?....just after midterms, right as you hit the next wave of tests after midterms....

That WALL where motivation is totally spent, and getting up in the morning takes ten times as much effort as it ever did before....

I get to that point and think....Do I NEED school...do I REALLY need this?

  And I have this internal struggle of perfect validations excuses for giving up and being lazy.  I'm never going back! bahahaha!   It is somewhat flimsy, because of  COURSE  I still have to go to school...but,  (the stubborn rebellion slowly appears).... will I pay attention?  Or will I let myself have that break that I've slowly convinced myself is only right, and just, and of course well deserved by the "hard work" (that is ironically no longer anywhere to be seen)....

While I'm trying to find good motivation, what song should pop into my head? 

None other than this:

That's right.  Elimination: Lack of Education.  

This is what we learn: If I don't get educated I'll die. 

I don't know about you, but that's motivation for me.

Believing Christ

I started an assignment tonight, grumbling about having to read 30 WHOLE pages in a doctrinally based book.

I know, I know, what a wimp, but it's hard for me to read pages and pages of metaphor, fancy language, and complicated doctrine.  

HOWEVER - this book is fabulous.  I got to pick whatever part I wanted, and the title of one chapter, "Saved by Grace" popped out at me.  I've always felt a little fuzzy about the whole concept of Grace, but in this beautiful book called Believing Christ, I am now totally captured as it finally explains things in beautiful and simplistic detail.  I particularly love how it explains Mercy.  Here is something to think about:

"In this life there are only two lords and two sides. We must choose to belong to the One or the other. If we do not choose the One, we will receive the other by default. There is no middle ground, no third alternative. Life, like a computer, has default settings, conditions that will automatically apply unless we take positive action to avoid them. Thus, if we refuse to make Christ our Lord by taking positive steps to enter into his covenant, then Satan becomes our lord by default. Christ by choice or Satan by default—there are no other options.

Now here is an odd thing about the nature of mercy: by definition, mercy can only be mercy if we don't deserve it. For if we deserve something, then it becomes a matter of justice that we receive it. So it ceases to be a matter of mercy. Thus, in this sense at least, to give or to receive mercy is always somewhat unfair. But one of the great beauties of the gospel, some of the best news of all, is that Jesus Christ does not mind this unfairness. He is willing to suffer unfairly and compensate justice himself out of his own person in order to extend mercy to weaker beings like us. This willingness on his part to pay more than his fair share and to carry more than his fair load in order to grant mercy to others constitutes the grace of Christ."

Beautiful.  I never thought about the fact that the Gospel plan isn't about fairness, and we should be happy that it's not - otherwise we wouldn't have a chance.  If we all got what was "fair" than none of us would succeed.